


Charlie's problem

by Lesatha



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 22:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesatha/pseuds/Lesatha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is a living nightmare, and every single moment of the damn training is just another proof that his sole purpose in life is to drive Charlie insane.</p><p>The worst part being, Eggsy isn’t even aware of it. At first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlie's problem

**Author's Note:**

> Translation in Chinese by WickedNota available here: http://www.movietvslash.com/thread-172279-1-1.html

Charlie knows Eggsy Unwin is going to be a problem the moment he lays eyes on him. Trouble is written all over the chav’s face. It is in the way he dresses, the way he walks.

 

Charlie steals a glance at him during Merlin’s little speech and he is quick to dismiss his worry. The pleb won’t be a problem –he doesn’t have it in him to be one. Really, who thought it would be a good idea to get him into Kingsman? At least, he will provide a bit of fun. Training is going to be hard enough, and Charlie won’t turn away from some stress relief. Too bad the boy won’t last long.

 

But once Merlin leaves and Charlie crowds in on _Eggy_ alongside Rufus and Digby, and the boy doesn’t shy away for a single second, it appears he might be mistaken. Perhaps Eggsy has something in him.

 

They all get ready for their first night and Charlie’s eyes wander towards Eggsy again, who slips half-naked in his bed. His breath catches in his throat. Fuck. Fuck everything. Especially Eggsy Unwin and his ripped chest and narrow waist.

 

Charlie lets his head hit his pillow with a stifled groan. Eggsy is going to be a problem.

 

***

 

As it turns out, Eggsy is much more than that. He is a living nightmare, and every single moment of the damn training is just another proof that his sole purpose in life is to drive Charlie insane.

 

The worst part being, Eggsy isn’t even aware of it. At first.

 

Charlie can say for sure that he isn’t aware that night, when water floods their dorm as soon as the lights are out.

 

Thanks to Roxy and Charlie, they find a way to avoid drowning. Within thirty seconds –isn’t that impressive– they all have an unlimited air supply. All of them, except Eggsy fucking Unwin, of course. Charlie almost screams at him when the idiot swims towards the door, but they are already underwater and he catches himself just in time. Drowning because Eggsy Unwin can’t understand that they have no way out, and certainly not through a damn door, would be the worst way to die.

 

When Eggsy loses his fight against the locked door and swims back towards them, Charlie’s mouth twitches with relief around the hose. They haven’t been underwater for too long, however Eggsy spent an unreasonable amount of energy on his silly crusade to break free, and he is going to need air _soon_. But he doesn’t stop, just swims above them. Charlie represses the urge to grab his ankle and pull him down, because he needs to breathe, damn it.

 

What Eggsy Unwin does shouldn’t be of Charlie’s concern. Yet if he could, he would shove the shower hose between those pink lips, or worse, he would just force Eggsy’s mouth open with his own and directly breathe air into his lungs.

 

Yes. Charlie Hesketh is in the middle of a life-threatening situation and all he can think about is how to keep Eggsy safe. In the cheesiest way possible. He is doomed. Well, maybe not as much as Eggsy, who is trying to… Charlie has to squint, because everything is blurry, and from where he is, it looks like Eggsy is punching his own face in that huge mirror. Charlie would gladly help him, if he could. Instead he watches, just like they all do now, as Eggsy breaks the mirror with his bare fists and frees them, a few seconds later.

 

_How hot was that?_

 

When Merlin compliments Eggsy, Charlie can’t help that arsehole comment about Eggsy having already seen a two-way mirror, but that’s because he has to keep his composure. Anything to distract him from his impending hard-on.

 

Merlin showing them Amelia’s lifeless body –whom Charlie completely forgot about, focused as he was on Eggsy– is distracting enough.

 

***

 

The next morning, Merlin sends them on an orienteering race.

 

“Since last night was a fiasco in terms of teamwork, you will work in groups of two,” the instructor announces.

 

Charlie doesn’t miss how Eggsy and Roxy share a quick glance, the hint of a smile curling the girl’s lips. Eggsy’s own grin is much less subtle. It lightens his whole damn face.

 

“I’m afraid things won’t be so easy, Eggsy,” Merlin says. “Sometimes, you have to work with people quite… different from you. You might not like them but you have to trust them with your life. Most of the time, it is a matter of working past your differences.”

 

The grin vanishes from Eggsy’s face and Charlie struggles to repress a smirk. He knows who Eggsy will end up with, and judging from his indignant look, Eggsy knows too.

 

“This is teamwork,” Merlin reminds them as he hands a map to each pair, right before letting them go into the woods. “Understood?” he asks, his voice lower, stopping in front of Charlie and Eggsy.

 

“Yes, Sir,” they answer at once.

 

Charlie still snatches the map from Eggsy’s fingers as soon as they head into the woods. Each team has a different location to reach and within minutes, the others are gone and everything is silent around them. Charlie stops to study their map but Eggsy joins him and it gets hard to concentrate when he is so close.

 

Charlie sighs and folds the map in two, heading for a sloping path which won’t be easy to climb but should get them quicker to their location.

 

“Oi!” Eggsy exclaims, jogging to fall into steps with Charlie. “What happened to teamwork?”

 

Charlie stops abruptly and turns, almost colliding with Eggsy, to stare him down.

 

“I read the map and you follow, how is that for teamwork?”

 

Just like Charlie expected, Eggsy narrows his eyes yet he doesn’t back down an inch.

 

“I’d rather check that map,” he insists. “Posh bloke like ye probably never sets a foot outside of his fancy school.”

 

Charlie chooses to laugh at that –otherwise he will throw a punch– and resumes climbing up the path. After several seconds, he hears Eggsy following him. When he reaches halfway, Charlie stops, even though he shouldn’t, because he can’t help it. The urge to taunt is stronger than reason.

 

“Anyway, what would you do with the map? I bet you haven’t seen one before.”

 

“I was in the Marines, you fuckin’ dick,” Eggsy spits.

 

Charlie is genuinely surprised, and he doesn’t hide it.

 

“Oh? And where else have you been?”

 

Eggsy shakes his head and tries to shoulder past him, but Charlie stops him with one hand curled around his biceps. The cold stare it earns him is a clear warning, which Charlie decides to ignore.

 

“How did you know about the mirror?” Charlie asks.

 

They are quite literally on a slippery slope, and it is a dangerous game to explore how far he can push Eggsy. And at the same time, it is delightful.

 

“You still on ‘bout that mirror?” Eggsy huffs, ripping his arm away from Charlie’s grip. “Hope it didn’t keep you awake all night.”

 

It almost did, even though Charlie is never going to admit it.

 

“So? Did you end up in a police station?”

 

For a while, Eggsy doesn’t reply, only studies Charlie’s face. Then he takes a step closer, smirking.

 

“Yeah,” he breathes out, defiant and tantalizing all at once. Most of Charlie’s blood goes south. “Now, gimme the map, ‘m pretty sure you sent us on the wrong way.”

 

Charlie raises his arm, keeping the map out of Eggsy’s reach. That alone seems to upset him more than the whole situation.

 

“Why were you arrested?”

 

Eggsy is growing restless, pushing on tiptoes to catch the folded paper. He merely manages to grab Charlie’s forearm, throwing him a little off balance.

 

“Let me guess,” Charlie says, sweeping his gaze over Eggsy’s body in a way that can’t go unnoticed. “It could have been robbery, or drugs. Or, if I trust my instinct and look at your cocksucker lips, I would say for hooking.”

 

It was supposed to be mocking, really. Charlie thought Eggsy would push him away and make another move for the map. Not stare back at him with a careful, neutral face, and a hint of... something flashing in his eyes, too quick for Charlie to see what it was.

 

“So your instinct tells you to picture me as a rentboy?” Eggsy asks after a heavy silence. And now, _he_ is the one giving Charlie a once-over. “Bruv, ye need to work on keeping your fantasies a better secret.”

 

With a laugh, Eggsy pushes past him this time, releasing Charlie’s arm. A shame, his fingers had become nicely warm on his skin.

 

“But I’m right though,” Charlie exclaims, following Eggsy. Now that he is close behind him and gets a full display of his arse, Charlie knows his theory can’t be just a theory. Not with that arse. “What about sharpening your skills in the dorm? We would all appreciate it.”

 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, please shut your…”

 

Eggsy never finishes his sentence. Turning on his heels as he speaks, his left foot slips on a patch of dry leaves and he falls forward with a squeak, grabbing Charlie’s shoulders for balance. Perhaps, if Charlie hadn’t been too mesmerized by the pants pulled tight across Eggsy’s backside, he would have been able to accommodate the sudden weight. Or perhaps not, that slope really is slippery.

 

Anyway, the last thing he does is to reflexively close his arms around Eggsy and then they both tumble backwards, rolling down in a mess of tangled limbs. The fall seems endless, even if it doesn’t last more than several seconds.

 

Once they land on flat ground, Eggsy rolling above Charlie one last time, and everything has stopped being a whirlwind of groans and blurry colours, Charlie just wants to punch him. He is too dizzy for that, and anyway, the urge dies down when he glances at Eggsy. Fucking Eggsy, lying on his stomach and panting, twigs and leaves caught in his hair.

 

What Charlie wants to say is something along the lines of “Oh, you’re cute” –instead he goes with a barked “Fuck you, Unwin.”

 

Eggsy pushes his body off the ground with a glare and launches himself across Charlie. Charlie readies himself for a fight –or anything else– but Eggsy draws back a second later. With a triumphant grin and the map in his hand. The map that somehow, Charlie had kept clenched in his fist during their fall.

 

Eggsy sits back on his heels, running a hand in his hair while studying the damn paper.

 

“Ah, knew it!” he exclaims. “That slope of yours was no shortcut.”

 

Charlie doesn’t argue. He lets Eggsy take the lead, which isn’t really an option considering how memories of Eggsy pressed against him cloud his mind. Their little stunt prevent them from winning the race –close shot though, Roxy and Digby only make it to the finish line a few minutes before they do– but it is so worth it. It is also worth Merlin’s arched eyebrows when he lays eyes on their muddy clothes and tousled hair.

 

“Having fun in the woods, boys?” he asks while typing insanely fast on his tablet.

 

“Posh guys like a bit of rough,” Eggsy replies, like it is the most natural thing to say.

 

Eggsy Unwin is infuriating.

 

***

 

But Eggsy can also be downright adorable, which might be the heart of the problem. If he were only made of cheeky grins and snarky comments, Charlie would be able to hate him _in peace_. He can’t though. Because at least once a day, he gets a glimpse of Eggsy laughing at whatever Roxy told him, relaxed and trusting, oblivious to the world around them. Charlie sees them one evening, alone in the dorm while everyone is watching the telly in their common room.

 

Charlie forgets why he had to come back to the dorm in favour of looking at them through the door. Roxy is sitting cross-legged on her bed, arms stretched above her head to mime something. Her lips move fast as she alternates between talking and laughing. Eggsy, curled on his side in front of her, head propped on one hand, is drinking in her words. With his eyes as wide as his smile, bursting with laughter when Roxy mimes what must be an explosion, he looks so much like a child. That’s probably how young Eggsy looked like, when he still had his innocence. Yeah, Charlie can be a dick, yet he is still able to acknowledge that the guy has a hard life. It is pretty obvious.

 

And this, Eggsy laughing so much he has to hold his side, makes it hard to plainly hate him. Just like the way he looks like when he wakes up early in the morning –confused face peeking above the blankets, like a grumpy puppy. Charlie shouldn’t be noticing these things.

 

By the way, don’t get him started on how the cuteness level exploded when they got their pups. Eggsy mistaking the pug for a bulldog was a great start. Everything went downhill after that, with Eggsy tucking the pug against his chest during training, or sometimes tucking him against his side before falling asleep.

 

What Charlie likes –no, laughs at– the most, is when Eggsy starts talking to the dog. He walks in on him one day in the park, manages to backtrack fast enough to remain unnoticed. Apparently, Eggsy is teaching the dog how to roll on his side.

 

“Good, boy, JB!” he exclaims, reaching down to scratch the pug’s head. “We’ll make Harry proud, yeah?”

 

Charlie can’t help wondering who Harry is, why Eggsy’s eyes sparkle as he says that name. However, the pug yips, raising a giggle out of Eggsy, and Charlie quickly forgets about Harry.

 

At times, the pug is as much a little shit as his master is. Eggsy can’t even come up with a convincing scolding and fuck him, he makes Charlie smile despite himself.

 

“Oi, JB, wut did I say ‘bout socks? You don’t eat ‘em, that’s no good for you.”

 

Charlie snorts to hide a laugh, imitated by Digby, whose own snort is much more scornful. Eggsy pays them no attention, going on with his little rant.

 

“We had a deal, JB. You don’t chew on me things, I don’t chew on yours.”

 

“I could give you something to chew on, Eggy,” Rufus calls from his own bed.

 

As if his meaning weren’t clear enough, Rufus grabs his crotch and waggles his eyebrows, only earning a two-finger salute from Eggsy. Who then casts a murderous glance at Charlie. True, the others often make some innuendo about Eggsy being a rentboy, but Charlie never told them about that. It’s not his fault if Eggsy looks like he was made for fucking.

 

Thank God, Eggsy can go from cute to irritating within seconds. This way, Charlie can forget that when he thinks about kissing him, now it involves less teeth and more… gentleness.

 

***

 

Every little part of training has been designed to grate on Charlie’s nerves. Technically that’s the point, Merlin said it once. The instructor didn’t know how much that hit home with Charlie though. The threat of drowning in one’s dorm is nerve-wracking for all of them, while the language lessons, for example, are not. Everyone is fine during this part of their training, since it isn’t supposed to be anything other than language lessons.

 

Well, for Charlie it is.

 

It is hours of having his skin on fire because of Eggsy, who rolls his tongue on Russian words and makes small talk sound like a call for debauchery. At least Charlie isn’t the only one affected. Rufus keeps shifting on his chair half the time. They also learn French and Spanish –except Roxy who is already fluent– and hearing Eggsy stumble on French doesn’t help Charlie’s case.

 

God knows why, Eggsy takes Russian at heart and practices it most of the time, with or without Roxy, sometimes with JB. A lot with JB, asking him if he is hungry, if he wants to take a walk. It makes Charlie’s blood boil, even more so considering he didn’t get the opportunity to get off in _weeks_. Eggsy, like the little observant shit he is, notices of course. He doesn’t say it, but the way he gives Charlie a teasing grin after one particularly intricate sentence, or punctuates his words with a bite of his lower lip is more than tale-telling. Charlie is bound to snap.

 

One evening, while most of them already lie on their bed reading or relaxing, or drifting to sleep in Charlie’s case, Eggsy keeps babbling to his dog, a sweet melody to Charlie’s ears. Too sweet, perhaps. In his half-conscious state, Charlie can very well picture Eggsy under him, moans and singing vowels pouring out of his mouth. There’s another joyful exclamation from Eggsy and that’s it, Charlie’s hips thrust into the mattress on their own accord. His eyes snap open and he springs up in a sitting position, praying no one saw what happened.

 

“Will you just shut your mouth, Unwin?” he exclaims.

 

At the other end of the room, Rufus agrees with a pained groan. Eggsy just ignores them and tucks himself under his blankets.

 

“You need to relax, Charlie,” Roxy mumbles, voice muffled by her pillow.

 

He tries. An hour later, he and the other recruits throw a bucket of cold water on Eggsy and it should help to see how it gets Eggsy all riled up. Strangely, it doesn’t.

 

***

 

The next day, Charlie spends most of his time wondering if Eggsy will retaliate. He is curious to see how he would do that, since it is not Eggsy’s style to throw water on sleeping people. Charlie gets an answer that very afternoon, during their daily sparring session.

 

Officially, Merlin teaches them how to fight while having their hands restrained against an opponent with a free range of movement. Charlie would bet all of his father’s money that the instructor’s secret agenda is to drive him crazy, with Eggsy as his accomplice.

 

Charlie’s initial goal is to watch Rufus get his arse kicked by Digby, see what moves work best. In reality, his eyes wander every five seconds towards Roxy and Eggsy, sparring freely for now while waiting for their turn. Eggsy’s back muscles –yes, today he decided to drop the shirt with a pointed look towards Charlie– roll and shine under a thin layer of sweat. Every now and then, he glances at Charlie, a warning as much as a tease.

 

“Alright,” Merlin declares as Rufus lands on his back for the fourth time in less than thirty seconds. “You can stop. Rufus, you’ll need to learn how to keep a better balance. Now we’ll have Charlie and…”

 

“Me,” Eggsy says, sauntering to the centre of the mat.

 

Merlin’s gaze goes from Eggsy to Charlie, one eyebrow raised.

 

“That is… unexpected, Eggsy. Let me remind you that this isn’t merely about taking advantage of your opponent’s weakness.”

 

“I ain’t planning that, Sir,” Eggsy replies, though the mischievous glint in his eyes tells another story. “I can be the one restrained.”

 

That gets everyone’s attention. Even Roxy can’t hide a frown. After a moment of pondering, Merlin takes a few steps back, putting a safe distance between him and the sparring mat before motioning Charlie forward.

 

Eggsy is up to something. Charlie should know better, shouldn’t be so impatient about the coming fight. But in all honesty, even if he had the possibility to walk out of this, he wouldn’t. Damn no, he wouldn’t waste such an opportunity.

 

Eggsy never looks away as Charlie grabs a zip tie and approaches him, one step after another slow, slow step. A fight begins before you throw the first blow, after all. Eggsy smirks when Charlie stops in front of him and just like that, irritation replaces doubt. Charlie turns him around with one push on his shoulder, brings his wrists behind his back to squeeze the zip tie tightly around them. If his fingers linger a bit too long on the thin skin there, that’s for a checking purpose only.

 

“Very well, now you can…”

 

Merlin never finishes his sentence. Eggsy spins around, kicking his right knee hard into Charlie’s side. As he tumbles backwards with a gasp, Charlie can see Merlin pinching the bridge of his nose. Yeah, their chav can be a bit unruly like that, but this isn’t Eggsy disregarding Merlin’s authority. Charlie would do the same: take the enemy by surprise, in particular if you’re in a weaker position.

 

He grunts and drops into a defensive stance, circling Eggsy. Without his hands to protect him, the boy keeps moving around, ready to bounce at Charlie’s first move. Yet, his gaze holds no fear.

 

Charlie goes for a punch to the jaw. Eggsy ducks faster than he expected, swirls aside to move behind Charlie and kicks him behind the knee. Not enough to hurt, only to send him sprawling face first on the floor. Charlie rolls on his feet and turns around to face Eggsy again, who is looking far too smug for his own good.

 

“You want to play it like this?” Charlie growls.

 

“Yeah,” Eggsy huffs.

 

He bounces on his feet like a boxer, chin raised. Fine. Charlie won’t feel guilty about not holding back his punches then. He lunges and delivers blow after blow, though Eggsy dodges most of them. Anyway, each time his fists connect with flesh is a small victory.

 

“Seriously Eggy, I thought you had a better strategy than that,” Charlie sneers. “Your stupid pug would do better.”

 

Eggsy stills, giving him that indignant look Charlie likes so much. The momentary distraction is exactly what he needed, and was aiming for. It allows him to get close enough to land a punch on Eggsy’s ribs and push him bodily against the wall. Eggsy struggles when Charlie presses him against the wall, one arm across his neck, but it is too late. Charlie caught him and Merlin is going to call the end of the fight. It was too easy.

 

“I don’t need a strategy,” Eggsy replies, lowering his voice so that only Charlie can hear him. “Ye’re doin’ all the work.”

 

Perhaps not so easy.

 

Amidst all his struggles, Eggsy manages to press his hips against Charlie’s. To an outside viewer, it must look like accidental contact. No one can guess that Eggsy uses the movement to rub their crotch together, bringing a delicious but most inopportune friction. Shock makes Charlie loosen his grip, a perfect opportunity for Eggsy to push him away. They are back to the start, the only difference being that Charlie is more flustered than ever. This has to end.

 

He springs forward, fists raised, and realises too late that something is wrong. Eggsy doesn’t move, doesn’t use one of his little spins to get out of the way. Charlie aims for his jaw, determined to wipe that smirk away, and Eggsy just lowers himself to the floor, so fast Charlie initially believes he is dropping to his knees.

 

No. Charlie looks down with a frown and here is Eggsy, legs stretched wide into a perfect split.

 

“What…”

 

Eggsy grins up at him and twists his upper body to swipe one leg under Charlie’s feet. Fuck. While the world turns upside down, Charlie catches a glimpse of Eggsy already getting up in one graceful, swift movement. Then Charlie’s back hits the floor and all of his air leaves him. He closes his eyes with a groan, unable to move.

 

He would stay like that, dwelling both on his defeat and on the painful, new knowledge that Eggsy is so fucking _bendy_ , but soon he feels a steady pressure on his windpipe. Charlie blinks, and discovers Eggsy standing above him, pressing his foot down on his throat a little more with a giggle. A giggle.

 

“I win, yeah?” Eggsy asks Merlin, glancing at the instructor with a dazzling smile.

 

Merlin seems frozen on the spot, his forefinger still above his tablet. Then the hint of a grin curls the corners of his mouth.

 

“Indeed. You do, Eggsy.”

 

Only then Eggsy retrieves his foot from Charlie’s throat, allowing him to get up. Charlie makes a point of standing like nothing happened.

 

“That was for JB,” Eggsy says, far too defiant for a man still tied. Oh well, Charlie supposes he can be –he just proved he doesn’t need his hands to kick some arses. “He shivered for an hour ‘cause of that fuckin’ prank of yours.”

 

Fair enough.

 

***

 

Sometimes, Charlie sees Eggsy going to the infirmary, even if he isn’t hurt in any way, and usually he stays there for a while. He isn’t the same Eggsy on those days. No smile lightens his face, except a forced one when Roxy tries to cheer him. He doesn’t react to the recruits’ taunting either, no matter how crude they can be. At one point, Charlie barks them to stop. When Eggsy isn’t here, of course.

 

Once Charlie overheard Eggsy talking to his pug, and he often wonders if his words held any meaning regarding his little trips to the infirmary.

 

“Don’t worry, JB, he’ll be fine. He has to.”

 

On those days, it is really hard to hate Eggsy Unwin.

 

***

 

Three days after their infamous sparring session –Charlie’s dreams now involve lots of bound hands and sweaty chests– they get a honeypot mission. When Merlin gives them their target’s picture, Charlie stifles a snort at the same time Eggsy lets out a joyful yelp. He is getting worse than his pug.

 

“Oi, Charlie, you don’ stand a chance,” Eggsy laughs.

 

Charlie glances at their target –a boy roughly their age who looks like he could be straight out of Charlie’s neighbourhood.

 

“Why is that?” he sighs.

 

“Bruv, he is so much like you. A posh guy won’t go for another posh guy.”

 

Charlie leans forward on his chair, wholly focused on Eggsy sitting right in front of him. The other recruits follow their exchange with varied degrees of interest, going from Roxy’s oh-please-not-again look to Digby’s mocking smirk.

 

“Are you trying to tell me I don’t stand a chance compared to _you_? Eggy?”

 

Now it is Eggsy’s turn to lean forward on the table between them, both hands cupping his chin.

 

“Yeah,” he replies with a slow nod. “He’ll find ye borin’. Like his everyday classmate.”

 

“And he’ll think you’re a slut,” Charlie counters.

 

“Yeah. So?”

 

Eggsy’s answer comes as a breathy whisper, provoking and oh, so fucking hot. He even flicks his gaze from Charlie’s eyes to his lips and suddenly Charlie is very, very afraid. That boy is a menace, a menace with mesmerizing green eyes and devilish pink lips. Tonight is going to be a disaster, whatever happens. At least, Roxy also seems to become aware of that fact.

 

“Eggsy, no,” she says, warning clear in her tone.

 

He ignores it with a grin as he leaves his chair and heads for the door with a rhythmic sway to his hips.

 

“Oh yes,” he replies without a look back.

 

The silence that settles in the room once he is gone is suffocating.

 

“We’re going to a nightclub, right?” Rufus asks. “What if he does a split on the dance floor? Or other shit like that in front of the target? What do we do?”

 

“We’re fucked,” Digby replies.

 

“No, I told him he isn’t allowed to do that,” Roxy says. “That would be unfair.”

 

 

Charlie spends the whole day dreading what Eggsy is going to do, what he is going to wear. He can’t deny his relief when Eggsy shows up with a pretty decent outfit. His jeans aren’t too tight –that’s good news– and his jacket is quite ugly but it doesn’t show any skin, so Charlie’s safe. He will be able to focus on their target.

 

Not that he wants to, actually. Eggsy has no idea how accurate his earlier taunting was. No, the posh guy won’t want Charlie, not when he can have Eggsy. Charlie wouldn’t hold it against the guy: he doesn’t want him either. What he wants is Eggsy spread out on the sparring mat, smirking up at him. Eggsy panting against his neck.

 

Damn it, that test is going to be a royal pain.

 

Charlie wants to leave the nightclub as soon as they set foot in it. Keeping the target away from Eggsy is the sole reason he is going to compete for the posh guy.

 

In the end, there is no competition at all, as they should have all expected it. Rufus tries first, only to have the target walk away with his friends on the dance floor, without sparing a glance at him.

 

“He is a prick,” Rufus groans when he drops back on the couch where the other recruits are gathered.

 

They spend a while observing the target, trying to figure what went wrong with Rufus’ approach. Well, Charlie doesn’t try that much. His main concern is that the song that just started playing is the most girly thing he has heard since the beginning of the evening and that it doesn’t help.

 

Of fucking course, Eggsy Unwin chooses that precise girly song to make his move. Why is Charlie surprised?

 

“My turn,” Eggsy says, swallowing a large gulp of his champagne. “Luckily for me…”

 

He rises to his feet, one hand flying towards the zip of his jacket and all Charlie can think is _oh, fuck no_ , before Eggsy pulls it down.

 

“I happen to know how to handle a prick,” Eggsy grins, throwing his jacket on the couch.

 

Forget about decency. Eggsy’s white tank top is everything you could think of, but certainly not decent. Not with that loose cut on the sides, showing a shameless expanse of skin. Charlie can see his well-defined ribs –scratch that, all the club can see– and worse, as Eggsy bends down to straighten the cuff of his jeans, it reveals one delicious, pink nipple just ready to be bitten. Let’s not even mention how the top clings to Eggsy’s hips.

 

No one says anything for several seconds, the others looking either horrified or turned on. Or both. Except Roxy, who tries to hide her grin behind her glass.

 

“How could Merlin allow that?” Charlie breathes out, unable to look away from Eggsy.

 

“Merlin doesn’t give a fuck,” Eggsy replies, making his way around their table and towards the dance floor.

 

“You have no shame,” Charlie says.

 

It is more of an assessment than a reproach. Eggsy flashes him a feral smile.

 

“I have a mission to complete.”

 

He turns around, walking towards the dancing crowd with the kind of grace he displays during sparring. A little wild, and a little hypnotizing.

 

“Dear Lord, and I thought he was bragging,” Roxy laughs. “Looks like he was right, Charlie, you don’t stand much of a chance.”

 

“You don’t either,” Charlie reminds her, still trying to keep an eye on Eggsy, who disappeared behind the target’s friends.

 

“True,” Roxy agrees, taking a sip of champagne. “Yet what happens tonight won’t keep _me_ awake.”

 

Best not to answer that.

 

Charlie scans the crowd, unable to spot Eggsy. That and the atmosphere being much more heated than before, it makes him cringe. The song’s catchy chorus blasts out of the speaker and suddenly the target is there, a little outside of the crowd. He extends his hands towards someone still hidden behind some people and two seconds later, Eggsy joins him. Sweaty and undulating, his hair a complete mess. He locks his arms around the target’s neck, lets the guy press one large hand against his arse to press their bodies together.

 

_‘Cause baby now we got bad blood_

 

Charlie grits his teeth. That damn song couldn’t be more accurate. Will Merlin consider the test a fail if Charlie destroys the target?

 

_Hey_

 

Eggsy spins in the target’s arms, rolling his arse against the guy’s crotch. Then he looks up, locking eyes with Charlie. His heart skips a beat, or maybe two.

 

_Now we got problems_

 

Eggsy tilts his head back against the target’s shoulder, looking at Charlie under hooded lids, and he has the cheek to _mouth_ the lyrics at him.

 

_And I don’t think we can solve them_

 

Eggsy keeps mouthing the words with eyes trained on Charlie, adding a smug grin when the target sneaks his hand under his tank top, probably to tweak a nipple, judging from the movement of his fingers.

 

Like fuck they can’t solve them. Charlie slams his glass on their table with more force than necessary. Who cares what Merlin is going to say?

 

A firm hand catches his wrist before he can get up though.

 

“You can’t interrupt a mission,” Roxy says, tightening her fingers.

 

“The guy is almost dry-humping him in front of everybody. The mission is complete.”

 

Charlie frees his hand with a jerk of his arm and strides towards the crowd. By the time he reaches the object of his fury, the target has his mouth locked on that pale throat and Eggsy’s eyes are closed.

 

Charlie grunts and yanks him away from the target, instantly putting himself between a not-so-surprised Eggsy and the guy.

 

“Just back off!” he barks when the target opens his mouth. “That one isn’t for you!”

 

One more glare and the guy holds his palms up, retreating into the crowd. Now Charlie can measure how embarrassing this is going to be in a near future. He turns to find Eggsy throwing him both an amused and challenging stare.

 

“Fuck you, Unwin,” Charlie growls, because he doesn’t have anything better to say.

 

“Hmm. Not tonight.”

 

Eggsy winks and that’s the end of the honeypot mission.

 

Thankfully for Charlie, Merlin considers the mission a success, since they were only supposed to seduce the target. It’s pretty obvious Eggsy managed to do so.

 

“Never do that again though,” Merlin warns Charlie. “Or you’re out.”

 

Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad thing, to be sent away. That would put an end to Charlie’s misery.

 

***

 

Tension keeps building between Charlie and Eggsy for days, and it is bound to reach its peak. Charlie both craves and dreads that moment.

 

As an adequate summary of their relationship, Charlie finds release in the sparring room. They are allowed to practice there when their training day is over –even if it is never truly over. Charlie likes to go in the evening to relieve his tension on a punching bag, alone.

 

Except tonight the room isn’t empty.

 

Charlie pushes the door and stumbles upon a perfect view of Eggsy stretched into a slip, facing away from him. Too bad the sound of the opening door gives him away –Charlie could have stared at him all night long. Eggsy cranes his neck to look at him, his confused frown quickly replaced by a smirk when he recognizes Charlie.

 

“Practicing for our next honeypot?” Charlie asks, letting the door fall shut behind him.

 

“We ain’t gonna have another honeypot,” Eggsy replies as he slowly gathers his legs in front of him. “Not after that disaster.”

 

Charlie approaches and Eggsy only gets up when he crowds into his personal space.

 

“Whose fault was that?” Charlie hisses. Unwanted memories of the target groping Eggsy come back all at once and that’s enough to make the hair stand up at the back of his neck.

 

“Certainly not mine.”

 

“You were…”

 

“Bein’ professional,” Eggsy says, taking a step closer so that their chests almost brush together. “Doin’ what Merlin told us to do. Not my fault ye couldn’t handle it.”

 

Charlie has had enough of that provoking smile.

 

“Fuck you, Eggy.”

 

“You wish.”

 

Here is the final push. Charlie’s hand shoots up and he locks his fingers on Eggsy’s jaw before the other can react. But Eggsy doesn’t fight back. He keeps his arms along his sides, lets Charlie tilts his head a bit.

 

“I’ve had enough of you,” Charlie grunts.

 

“Obviously.”

 

With his free hand, Charlie presses his forefinger on Eggsy’s lips. When it becomes clear Eggsy won’t push him away, he releases his grip, moving his hand down to rest his palm on Eggsy’s naked collarbone. Charlie notes distantly that he is wearing the damn tank top again.

 

He trails his thumb on Eggsy’s lower lip, pushing it down a little as he strokes, baring sharp teeth. Teeth that close around his thumb when he moves it towards the upper lip. Eggsy’s eyes darken as he sucks the finger into his mouth and that’s it, Charlie can feel himself hardening painfully. He presses his hand on Eggsy’s collarbone to push him down on his knees, but Eggsy won’t let go of his thumb, so he goes down with him.

 

As soon as their knees hit the mat, Eggsy tears his mouth away and throws himself against Charlie’s chest. Despite his smaller size, he manages to push Charlie on his back, locking their mouths together. Charlie snakes his arms around Eggsy to rest his hands between his shoulder blades, and then he does something he has wanted to do for quite some time now. He grabs the neck of Eggsy’s top and pulls hard, tearing the fabric in two.

 

“I loved that thing,” Eggsy says against his lips, tangling his fingers in Charlie’s hair.

 

“I didn’t.”

 

Charlie releases Eggsy for a split second, the time he needs to sit up. Eggsy still straddles his lap, panting. Charlie can feel him growing hard against his stomach. But that shouldn’t distract him –his task isn’t over. Without breaking eye contact, he fumbles to grab the torn fabric and tugs on it again. Eggsy shivers at the sound it makes, bright lips parted on a small gasp.

 

At last Charlie can get rid of the ruined fabric. He throws it away as hard as he can, only satisfied when it lands at the other side of the room. Now he can focus on Eggsy again, sneaking his hand in his pants to knead the flesh of Eggsy’s arse. Eggsy whines and bucks, rubbing their cocks together.

 

“You’re such a… problem,” Charlie pants where he bites Eggsy’s neck. “Who needs to be taken care of.”

 

“Yes please,’ Eggsy moans.

 

He keeps moving against Charlie’s chest and that friction is going to bring him over the edge much too soon.

 

“My bag,” Eggsy babbles, “look into my bag.”

 

Charlie reluctantly lowers Eggsy down on the mat, crawling towards a bag left near the wall. He fumbles a little and –what the hell– finds a little bottle of lube and some condoms in it. He holds them in the air, raising an eyebrow at Eggsy.

 

“Nicked the condoms at the nightclub,” Eggsy shrugs.

 

Charlie crawls back to him and kneels between his spread legs. He feels so at home there.

 

“And that?” he asks, turning the bottle in his hand.

 

Eggsy’s grin is evil.

 

“Nicked it somewhere else. Ye don’t want to know, trust me.”

 

And honestly, Charlie doesn’t care. All that matters is Eggsy’s heated skin, his tightness around Charlie’s fingers. His delicious squirms as Charlie prepares him, his keening when he sinks down into him.

 

Once he feels Eggsy is ready for it, Charlie settles for a punishing pace. Long, firm thrusts that make Eggsy moan under him. But even in the middle of fucking, Eggsy has to do things his own way. Charlie would be disappointed if he didn’t.

 

Suddenly, he presses against Charlie and bites his neck hard, using the momentary distraction to push Charlie aside and roll over him. Keeping Charlie on the ground between his legs, Eggsy sets his own pace, slow, tantalizing and teasing, just like everything he does. Charlie runs his hands along Eggsy’s thighs the whole time, enjoying the roll of muscles under his palms as much as the feel of imminent release.

 

Eggsy pants and grins down at him, and that sends Charlie over the edge. Gone as he is, he can still feel Eggsy shuddering one last time and collapsing on his chest.

 

“Fuck, Eggs,” Charlie whispers when his racing heart allows it.

 

“Is your problem solved?”

 

Eggsy hasn’t moved away yet and Charlie can feel his lips brushing against his throat as he speaks. The closeness is odd between them, but Charlie won’t push him away. He can’t. Doesn’t want to. It is a good thing Eggsy doesn’t seem inclined to move anytime soon.

 

“For now, yes.”

 

Eggsy hums.

 

“Oi,” he exclaims a few seconds later, raising his head so fast Charlie fears someone walked in on them. A bit late for that, but still. “Did you just call me ‘Eggs’? Did you shorten my nickname to another nickname?”

 

Charlie doesn’t have the energy to escape from that one.

 

“Fuck you,” he groans. “Eggs.”

 

“Yeah. Whenever you’re ready.”

 

 

***

 

They get another honeypot test, which turns out to be a loyalty test. Charlie spectacularly fails. His main regret is that he won’t wake up to Eggsy’s Russian babbling to JB, won’t see him spinning in the sparring room on the next afternoon.

 

But maybe they’ll meet again one day.

**Author's Note:**

> No matter how much I love Eggsy/Harry, I am in dire need of more Eggsy/Charlie. So this had to get out. And in my HC, Charlie doesn't die during V-day. Nope, no one dies.
> 
> Also, you may have noticed Taylor Swift's Bad Blood made an appearance ;) Couldn't help it.


End file.
